Hatred at times when I look at you. For I felt, you are always envy of me. Envy of the things that I have, envy of the people that I treasure. Why the sudden effort to tighten the bond now? Why the extra mile of effort to honor close ones? Funny, for before I see you always try to drift apart.

I don't comprehend, for you at times place yourself in someones' hearts. Is it because you want to be special? Or maybe you thought you are special. I feel nauseas observing your ways. At times, I feel I want to splurt these words at you, but could I?

You are afterall part of me, for you are afterall part of my love. But please do halt all the plans for sometimes, a bond crippled would be difficult to be unbent.

Marriage is not just a signature on a piece of paper neither, is it a 'I do' to symbolise unity. It's a commitment - till death do us part. Complex yet it's a gem. Love is mostly the reason when one is ready to commit to another individual. But will the love last till the end? Will the love sparks after marriage?

But what is love? It's so subjective. A profound tender, passionate affection for another person. Sexual passion or desire. Many words to define and it differs to every individual perhaps

When you love a person, there are so many special characters that you can accept. But why do we always accept the positive trades or attitude of the other before loving him/her? Everyone can accept the good things in life or the good points of someone. But can we actually see and embrace one's weaknesses, one's disability, before telling ourselve we are in love with that someone?

My definition of love - if I could accept the negative sides of a person, if I'm willing to be by his side during his time of folly, during his sickness and to forgive the wrong doings ( no one is perfect mind you ), then I guessed you could say that I'm in love. Happiness and contendments will naturally come.

They always ask - what about him that makes you love him? But why didn't they ask me what about him that I don't like, that can make my love any lesser? Well i guessed, none. As despite his lackness, despite his weakness, I love him no less. For he is the best that I could have.

'

If you notice I just tagged a song- kuzu kuzu by Tarkan. This is one of my longtime favourites which brings back a certain memory in the past and also an introduction to Turkish and arab musics for me.

Their unique instruments never fail to excite me. So take a listen to it and I hope you share the same sentiments as me:)

Writing has always been a draining process for me. At times, I wanted so much to pen down those words that are jumble up in my head. But the moment I wanted to start, there just disappear. Or perhaps, I'm just to eager till i don't know where to start.

You will always have ideas about something, opinions about people and I must admit I really admire those that can really express themselves with such detail inscription.

I stumble with words and even I'm not being truthful to myself about what I think, about my stand. Maybe I was afraid about what people might think about me, judging me and maybe too I am shielding myself. I never wanted people to know the real me. You can't let others know your weaknesses, I always tell myself. If they do, that can always be used against you.

Give me sometime. Hopefully, this will be the passage to my thoughts.

Welcome to Elyna thots...